Not with the Rain- Original Poem by Lolita Lynn

Not With the Rain

I hear the steady fall against the Roof, rough and intense

I can not smile; Not with the Rain

Except for the Pain in my heart. I should be crying

        Wailing with sadness

She’s gone and I can’t bring her back to Me.

        I try to hear her voice in my head but get only a whisper with the

                                        Rain.

        I try to Remember her scent, clean and familiar, but not with

                        The rain. I’ve gone through    Sadness,

                Anger,               Blame,              and Doubt.

Regret and Guilt.

Why did God have to take her? Why not me instead?

        I should be crying, wailing but not with the Rain.

I must stay Strong. Stay Solid. Stay Steady…like the rain.

But I hurt….I hurt in silence.  I hurt in tears not shed.

        I hurt in swallowed sobs.

        I hurt in lonely nights.

Even with the Rain. The Steady Rain. I hurt…

I let the water fall against my Face, run down my neck.

                At Last….I can Cry.

                No one will see.

Not with the Rain, Not with the Rain.

                                                                -April 18, 2009